Posted by Denver Date Doctor | Posted in | Posted on 5:28 PM
Dating Symptoms
My boyfriend and I have been dating for two and a half months and because of his job, most of our relationship has been long distance. Despite that distance, we have grown very close. I am pretty sure that my boyfriend loves me, and although he has joked around about it on a couple of occasions, he has yet to come out and actually say the "L" word. I am ready to let him know how I feel, but before we started dating I promised myself that I would not be the first to profess my love. Do you think it is a huge mistake for me to say, "I love you" first?
- "Crazy in Love" in Denver
Date Diagnosis
Wow! This is definitely a tough one... When it comes to love, we often don't understand how powerful it can be until cupid plants his arrow firmly in our butts. With that being said, let me address the the real issue at hand:
What is the best and worst thing that could happen if you say, "I love you" first?
- By professing your love first, he has two responses
- He could reject you. (subtly or overtly) OR,
- He could say, "I love you" back.
- In this situation you still can't be 100% sure whether he really meant it or if he was just saying it to be polite
- In addition to his possible responses, you may also end up asking yourself, "will I give up some of my power in the relationship if I speak too soon?"
Just like the movie Wedding Crashers, put your money on the verse from Corinthians. Love is patient, love is kind, love conquers all, etc...
But, if love truly is all of those things, why are 50% of marriages in this country ending in divorce? Answer: People in our culture are, quite frankly, too cavalier with their use of the word and, to go one step further, most people don't truly know how to love.
Now, let's go back to your original question... "Do you think it is a huge mistake for me to say, "I love you" first?" In this circumstance, my answer to you is: YES!
In my previous blogs I have stressed the importance of stepping outside the boundaries of acceptable behavior to create the love life you want. This is your chance to do just that... Instead of telling him you love him, SHOW HIM! I think it was Busta Rhymes who once said, "Don't Talk about it, be about it..." If you take the time to learn more about him and become everything he needs in a woman, you'll never have to guess about his feelings, because he will do his best to become everything you need in a man. This portion is not to be taken lightly, because it involves more than just laughter and excitement; it also involves, sorrow and pain... The good with the bad; the bitter with the sweet. THAT is Love! You may risk rejection, but you'll have the opportunity to gain so much more. And, the best part is that it's 100% within your control.
- Denver Date Doctor
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