Posted by Denver Date Doctor | Posted in | Posted on 3:47 PM
DATING SYMPTOMS
Dear Date Doctor,
My roommates and I decided to go out last night just for a few hours to a local bar. Going into the night I was only looking forward to dancing to a little hip hop, a little bit of country, and enjoying lots of laughs with the ladies. During all of the dancing, laughing, and mingling with others I passed a man who was by the way the only one who caught my eye the entire evening. I decided after seeing him that this would be the perfect opportunity for me to do the single lady challenge. I mustered up the courage and with the encouragement from my ladies to go hit on this attractive man. It started by me picking the cheesiest pick-up line I could.
This is how it went......
"So I have to ask you. Are you as good looking out of your uniform as you are in it?" He looked at me and gave me a playful laugh with a charming smile. He introduced himself as well as I did and the conversation took off from there. The bar was closing shortly so we ended our conversation and me and my girls left. As I was walking out I just felt a rush of excitement! I didn’t want to end it with a safe bye maybe I will see you again, and I didn’t really give him a chance to ask me for my number, so I decided to go back and get his number. I go back in there and walk up to him and say, “Look I feel like you and I should exchange numbers to get to know each other outside of the bar. What do you think?” He said “Yeah I think so too." I walked out feeling more satisfied with the ending then just wondering what could have been said differently.So we shall see if he calls!!! My question to the date doctor is what do you think I could have done differently? And given the information do you think he will call? My only reservation is that even though the pick up line was simply just used to get his attention and a laugh did he take it another way?
- "Trivial Pursuit?" in Denver
THE DATE DIAGNOSIS
This is a topic I can really sink my teeth into, because any man can attest to how difficult it is to muster up the strength to strike up a conversation with a member of the opposite sex. But rather than critique your "pick-up technique" I will point out some great things to think about before "Macking" on a guy...
- Choose wisely. Don't just make a mad dash to get his attention. Spend some time observing a man before you approach. Do this discretely, of course, so that you don't look like a creepy stalker... By observing your "target" you'll find out all types of good information like:
- he's wearing a wedding ring
- he has a super possessive girlfriend in the bar and she is looking for a good old-fashioned cat fight
- he checks out every woman who walks by and doesn't mind grabbing their butts as they pass
- he's hanging out with his boys and they are all super drunk
- most importantly, if you pay close attention, you'll find out if he is shy, outgoing, aggressive, etc.
- Determine your desired outcome. We are all adults here, so we all know that women have desires. With that being said, be honest with yourself. You need to decide what you want from your target. Without having an in-depth consulting session, I can't help you figure out what you want, so this step will take some deep soul searching. You need to understand what you want (ex: relationship, fling, physical encounter, etc.) and what you can handle (ie. are you emotionally available for the aforementioned "want").
- Select an approach tactic. This step is critical, because it depends on the combination of #1 and #2 above. For example: If you are looking for a long-term relationship and the guy you're approaching is a shy guy, it may scare him if you ask him what he looks like in his "birthday suit" (aka naked).
- Gain information. In this phase, you want to do your very best to ask questions. Show a genuine interest in what he has to say. Pay attention to his answers! You'll be surprised at how quickly and how much you can learn about a guy if you just listen... (It's always good to know early that he's 10 yrs older than you and still lives with his mother)
- Close the deal. After you gain information, decide if he's still worth your time. Think about your desired outcome in step #2 and all the information you gained about him in step #4. Take a few moments to put yourself in his shoes and analyze how he has perceived your actions. Once you've done that, select a method for obtaining your objective. Above all, know when to walk away if necessary.
Keep in mind that you are stepping out of your comfort zone, but take solace in the fact that "Mr. Right" is out there! Once you know how to identify and attract him, you'll be on your way to the romance you seek.
- Denver Date Doctor
If you have a dating question write to: DenverDateDoctor@gmail.com
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