Posted by Denver Date Doctor | Posted in | Posted on 2:02 PM
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Two Wrongs Don't Make a Right...
Two Wrongs Don't Make a Right...
I had a great conversation, last night, with a young lady who said, “My friends told me that I need to get my life together before I can really start dating again.” Although she hit the nail on the head with her diagnosis, it was evident that she was quite unclear as to where to begin in the reparation of certain areas of her life. In this blog, I want to address this topic and ways to get started…
For those of you I’ve spoken with about non-traditional forms of dating, you undoubtedly heard me refer to them as “only treating the symptoms”. When I speak of non-traditional forms of dating, I am often referring to on-line dating.
If you are one of my Facebook Fans you already know the numbers, but I will do a recap for those who haven’t. More than 20 million Americans engage in online dating each month and the number is increasing. In addition, 5% of those online daters eventually marry one another, but still the divorce rate in this country is 50% and climbing. The reason these dating sites are unable to turn the tide of the country’s dismal statistics is that this form of dating is based on a faulty premise; people are not being matched on compatibility. So, these websites give personality tests and end up matching two people with similar personalities.
Now, don’t get me wrong, I don’t knock anyone who has decided to give online dating a try however, the truth is, these sites never address the real problem with dating; many of the men and women who join the sites are not complete and whole individuals. They are broken. Now you are probably asking yourself, “How do I know if I am really broken, and if I am, how can I become whole?” The answer, while complex, is 100% within your ability to control.
We, as human beings, are extremely complex and amazing creatures. As you look at the picture below (The Ideal Life Matrix), rate yourself on each category on a 1-10 scale. Before you can include someone else in your life, you need to have a thorough understanding of where you are, with regard to these items, and where you ultimately want to be. After you have honestly evaluated yourself on these aspects, take a look at the items that are within your control to fix and then come up with ways you can improve yourself and a timeline for which to do it. While I recommend meeting in person for a more thorough analysis, it is a start and a great way to move toward finding the person for you.
My good friend Anthony gave me a great quote, “Happiness can never come from without; it can only be found from within.” If you are unhappy, or incomplete as an individual, it is unreasonable to expect to find that happiness and become whole simply by attaching yourself to someone else. Take the time to examine yourself and seek the internal happiness you deserve. It is within your control to reach it, so seize the day!
- Denver Date Doctor
If you have a dating question write to: DenverDateDoctor@gmail.com
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